Perhaps someday I will be able to truly paint a dream but because they are made of light and imagination, swirling truths and untruths sometimes intertwined for now, I can just try. Dreams are what we wish we could have and what we fear we might. They tell us truths about ourselves if we will but listen.
Dreams come from the fertile waters of our subconscious and bring to life images, thoughts, stories, fears, and loves. They illustrate our lives and problems but generally allegorically and we must sort through them for their meaning, give them some time to show themselves. They sometimes illustrate what we want but cannot consciously admit. They can encourage us to take a chance, saying what we want is not wrong, or warn us of impending mistakes, showing dangers in our path and letting us see the consequences if we do not choose another way.
The first painting is attempting to show that mystical time where we are open to the dreams. This is one of my sacred times-- dreamtime-- not achieved through drugs which I think might even hinder their authenticity, but rather when my spirit or soul is awake to them even as my body is asleep. I try to see all that is there, look through the mists for the truths and set myself to remember the images when I wake up. Sometimes I carry them with me for years before I finally understand what they were trying to say.
Based partly on a past life regression and later from a flashback where, in a belly dancing class, I saw a man (who wasn't there) watching me dance. This is what he looked like and how he grinned for that split second before the vision disappeared.
In the fall of 1999, I dreamed of a woman who loved an outlaw. She led a very sedate and orderly life and hid her love for him because of the danger to them both if the connection was known. Although I didn't dream what I painted, I felt strongly that the only time he could come to her was in the night. This image was inspired by that dream. It was also something I wrote about when I envisioned an ideal day for me. It would be waking with such a dream in my mind and using bright, intense colors to paint it.
Where some dreams are beautiful or lead to pleasant thoughts. Some are nightmares and the harshness in them is difficult to interpret. Such a dream was the one that I am trying to illustrate next. This may not be a finished 'painting' but for now it says what I wanted it to and shows one moment in the dream. One of the more pleasant ones. The dream follows after the illustration.
The time would be before the land was heavily settled where civilization didn't go deep and people roamed the forests a law unto themselves. The woman was of mixed ancestry, a child of nature, who lived wild and free with a small band of rapscallions who were as much outcasts as she. It was a hand to mouth existence but she was happy.
There was a sea captain who also traveled up and down the coast carrying cargo. He took her with him sometimes and one of the moments in the dream that I recall was her on the deck and him with his red beard and hair at the wheel of the boat.
He urged her to marry him, and even though she didn't love him, she thought he was a good man and came to believe he would offer her a secure life. Finally she said yes. The night they were married, he took her with no preliminaries; and since she had been a virgin, the experience was painful and horrifying. His brutality didn't end as he closed her into a big box. Her friends found her and the dream ended before they could free her or I could see the end to the story.
Crossroads. That's all the dream said.
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